Changi Chapel

Our church was recently hit with a high-ranking moral tragedy. It was discovered that a staff member (and my close friend) was engaging in marital infidelity. I was both shocked and saddened. I didn’t see it coming.

Of all the crises I’ve faced and had to deal with over the last 17 years of pastoral ministry, this was a first for me. Never someone this close to me. It’ll take me a long time to get over this one.

On top of having to deal with this on a very personal level, I had the weighty responsibility of leading our church through this. How do you handle something like this? What do you tell people?

One week after we discovered the affair, I had to stand up on my first Sunday back from vacation and tell our church what happened. I steered clear of details. It was a tough morning for me. It was a tough morning for everybody. The hurt, the anger, the sadness, the confusion. 

I preached from Gal 5:13 that morning, and among the things I emphasized and explained to our church was that we are not a one word community (law or gospel) but a two word community (law then gospel).

Explaining that we are a law-gospel community, I showed how pastorally this means we believe God uses his law to crush hard hearts and his gospel to cure broken hearts. The law is God’s first word; the gospel is God’s final word.

And when we rush past God’s first word to get to God’s final word and the law has not yet had a chance to do its deep wrecking work, the gospel is not given a chance to do its deep restorative work.

Sinners never experience the freedom that comes from crying “Abba” (gospel) until they first cry “School-master (law). (as in Gal 3:24)

I illustrated this point by reminding our church that the Father of the prodigal son in Luke 15 did not fall to his knees and wrap his arms around his sons legs when the son was leaving, but as he was returning. He had been waiting, looking to the horizon in hope.

When he saw his son coming home, crushed and humbled, he ran to him.
But remember the Father didn’t stop him from leaving. He didn’t go and rescue his son from the pigsty.

If we really love people and want to see them truly set free, we have to get out of God’s way and let the law do its crushing work so that the gospel can do its curing work.

I’ve seen way too many lives ruined because parents, pastors, families, and friends have cushioned the fall of someone they love – robbing that person from ever experiencing true deliverance because they never experience true desperation.

With tears in my eyes and deep longing in my heart, I ache for the day when I can look out on the horizon and see my crushed friend walking toward me.

On that day I’ll know that God’s law has done it’s work. And when that happens, I will run to meet him, fall on my knees, wrap my arms around his legs, and throw a party. No questions asked. Just a party.

I’m waiting for you, my brother!

Will you allow the law and the gospel to do its work in your life today?

Tullian Tchividjian
Pastor/Author/Billy Graham’s grandson.

© Tullian Tchividjian. He is the Senior Pastor of Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. Adapted and excerpted from his recent writings.

Your comments, thoughts or suggestions are welcome. The body text is by the author, the header and the words in italics are mine – John B. Samuel